Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Chill the fuck out

Yes we can


That's all for now. I'm piss-drunk, ecstatic, and moving onto an army base tomorrow.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Bondage down under! (Crikey!)

Because I often find myself with vast tracts of time and no productive way to spend it, I sometimes check the back-links to my blog. The back-links (or track-backs, or whatever they're actually called) are the recorded entry point that linked someone to a page on Phaedron Rising.

Usually, it's something fairly innocuous, like residual interest from the bookstore bible-shuffle at Pharyngula or Tall Penguin, or some passing interest in Mr Smith Goes to Washington.

Until last week, my favourite referral was the search for "cooties sex" on Google Estonia. No more.

It seems that there's something strange afoot down in the land of dingoes and stingrays; seems some Aussie was in need of either some DIY bondage advice or a good lawyer, because he turned to the wisdom of Google's algorithm for an answer to his troubles.

A fun experiment to try at home: go to Google or Google Australia and enter as your query "having problems confining a housemate to his room" either with or without the quotation marks.

Look who's result #1! I should be flattered, but I don't deserve that accolade. A pair of handcuffs and a makeshift blindfold are the closest my repertoire ever comes to BDSM, and I shy away from using them without a safe word. Nonetheless, happy strapping to my new Australian "mate."

And remember. If the cuffs are soft and fuzzy, you're missing the point.

Not even three-fifths!

"Mr Rising, you're actually ineligible to cast a vote for Barack Obama."
"No, it's not a curtailment of your rights, Mr. Rising."
"Yes, but that doesn't extend to Canadians."
"Mr Rising, you don't get three-fifths of a vote."
"Mr. Rising, it's not because you're black."
"Because you're not black"
"I seriously doubt that you're black 'from the waist down,' Mr Rising."
"Please put your pants back on, Mr Rising. We're all very impressed."

My point is, the Man's keeping me down. You'd better cast votes for the two of us. And did you know that it's illegal to take off your pants at a voter registration kiosk?